The Luxury of Being

Last year, I declared the month of December as time off. I canceled my Nia classes, put a hold on few things I wanted to engage in, and didn’t make plans for anything! 2016 was a big year for me, with lots of traveling and projects. It was a great year of self-reflection, growth, and learning. In September, I got the Nia black belt, which was a pinnacle in my Nia journey. In November, I completed my studies and earned my license as a Radical Living Coach. So December sounded like a logical time to relax.
With a lot of time on my hands and no commitments, I began reading. I love reading for hours with no interruptions, being swept away into the authors’ world.
I enjoyed dedicating time for reading so much that I set a challenge for myself to read 100 books in 2017!
I’m writing this in May, and I have read 32 books so far. To follow my progress and check the books I read so far check my Instagram.

I didn’t feel like doing anything, my body and mind were asking me to just be, with no planning, scheduling, or working, so I listened. That’s when the overachiever critical voice started nagging, “why are you not teaching? Why don’t you plan an event? Why are you sitting all day doing nothing?”
I indulged in this self-sabotaging conversation for a bit, then had to silence this nonsense chatter, and keep saying to myself that I was doing something I love and enjoy, reading, and I’m learning, not doing nothing! My critical-self feels that being is a luxury, while I believe it is necessary to stay productive and vital to success.

Trusting that everything happens at the right time, and forcing things to happen is just a wasted effort and energy was a valuable lesson. Once I surrendered to this and stayed in the flow of the divine timing, I felt a lot better and enjoyed my time.
Springtime brought with it new opportunities and possibilities. Two great opportunities came knocking on my door and got me excited. None of them was something I planned or thought about; I didn’t see them coming! It reconfirmed my belief that when I just let things flow, they will work themselves out perfectly in a way I wouldn’t be able to predict. While still as of now nothing materialized, I know that everything is perfectly the way it should be, and I’m exactly doing what I’m supposed to do
Now that I do have goals to achieve and work to do, I can sense the subtle difference between being and procrastinating! It is a thin line between not doing something because I need time to recalibrate and just be, and not doing the work because of self-doubt or plain laziness.
There are times that I truly needed the mental break, and others when I was making excuses and avoiding. I found that when I allow myself the time off and just be, I’m better able to create and see possibilities. Now, I trust my need to be and my ability to do the work when I need to.

P.S
I wrote the first draft to this post in mid-February, wrote some more in March, then in April. I think today is the day it was meant to be published!

I included this song in a previous post, but I’m including it again because it really resonates with how I feel.

2 thoughts on “The Luxury of Being”

  1. Lovely writing Manal Thank you for the insights . It’s wonderful that you are stopping and managing to read soooo much and do many incredible books . Am sure you are absorbing so much information and subconsciously assimilating them . I look forward to seeing what will unfold for you this year through this excercise and the discipline . Love and light
    Sumaya xxx

    1. Manal

      Thanks Sumaya. I’m really blessed to be able to do this! I’m enjoying it so much and I’m finding it is inspiring others to read. I’m also looking forward to see how this year will unfold.
      Love,
      Manal

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